Steven Wright Quotes

Steven Wright Quotes

Steven Wright QuotesI went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

What’s another word for Thesaurus?

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to have to paint it.

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