Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
We can’t all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
I never met a man I didn’t like.
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.