Evan Esar Quotes

Evan Esar quotes

Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don’t lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won’t stand up either.

Anger is a feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

A signature always reveals a man’s character – and sometimes even his name.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

Evan Esar QuotesCharacter is what you have left when you’ve lost everything you can lose.

Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.

Hope is tomorrow’s veneer over today’s disappointment.

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn’t done it.

Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.

Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

Walking isn’t a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.

You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.

It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.

Evan Esar Quotes

Many a man who falls in love with a dimple make the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.

Character is what you have left when you’ve lost everything you can lose.

A signature always reveals a man’s character – and sometimes even his name.

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn’t done it.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

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